Relentless Pursuit

Jeremiah is a powerful book of the Bible, but out of all the times I have read this book, I never even noticed this verse. 

"Therefore, thus says the LORD, "If you return, then I will restore you-- Before Me you will stand; And if you extract the precious from the worthless, You will become My spokesman. They for their part may turn to you, But as for you, you must not turn to them."

To be honest with you, these last couple months I have felt torn apart by the constant battle of my own pride. I have been holding on too long and have been restricting the passion that God has been trying to pull out of me for a long, long time. 

During Bible times, as many of you know, the Israelites went through many phases of loving God, being reprimanded by Him, obeying Him, questioning Him, being angry at Him, and turning back to Him when feeling lost and abandoned. 

I am the Israelite wandering in the desert, searching for living water, and just begging that the God of the creation is valuing this messed up heart of mine. The Israelite that is constantly running back, being lost in the craziness of life, yet attempting in my own time and strength to pursue an unfathomable God that I can offer no value to. YET HE STILL PURSUES ME and still pursues YOU, and although my understanding of his rawness is clouded over by doubt, undeserving grace, and confusion, I know that the offering of my heart and availability will be taken by God and He will run full force with it... at all different speeds. I often feel defeated and undeserving of His relentless pursuit, yet He reminds me daily that His love for me keeps my beating heart steady. 

Finally, after all this craziness, I let go. I let go of my own pride, I let go of my own strength, and found joy through the process of becoming who God created me to be; beautifully wild, free, and victorious.
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My friends, Lessen your grip, open your hands, and give your heart to one who was physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally ripped apart for your inconsistent, yet valuable heart. Stop fighting the blood-stained hands that are pleading to hold you!

These last couple weeks have been crazy, yet unbelievably spiritually productive. I remember being on my knees in my dorm room, in submission, under the spell of conviction. The process of submitting, begging God to open and close doors, and choosing freedom was ever present. I gave him my trust, I gave him my hopes and dreams, and I gave him my constant craving to be safe and comfortable. Literally the God who lets storms rage with wrath, commands lightening bolts where to go, and has storehouses of hail for days of hardship and battles (Job 38) ASKED to rescue me... do you understand the extremity of this? 

Believe it or not, our God is the bomb.com  

My friends, just one of the million things I have learned these last couple months is this; 
No matter who you are, no matter what you believe, no matter how much strength you think you have... you will always be unequipped to serve a God as powerful, raw, and real like ours. Please do not become numb, or feel defeated and undeserving as I did in the past, because we were not created to be or feel equipped... God created human hearts to be and feel unequipped to ensure and overemphasize His glory in the process of grace and redemption. 

Please let go of your pride, and just like God states several times in the Bible, doors will open at the right time, the right place, and with the right people. Fully allow Him be the lover of your soul, and let him be the one who carries your every burden, he died for that... and it would be crazy to reject grace as intense as His. Beautiful things happen when you let go.

In conclusion, my friends, please never forget that God held the Israelites up with raw and relentless love that surpassed every ounce of their understanding. What a miracle it is to have the ability to see and know the frustrations they felt and experience the healing they received in the midst of their fears.

As many of you are aware, I am headed into the jungles of Indonesia in about two months. As the Lord prepares my heart, please keep me in your prayers as I will be desperately searching for strength and guidance. Not only for this trip, but for my future in crisis recovery mission work. 

Your prayers are SO very important and valued. ​

Ezekiel 37:27-28
"My dwelling place also will be with them; and I will be their God, and they will be My people. "And the nations will know that I am the LORD who sanctifies Israel, when My sanctuary is in their midst forever."'