I angrily shuffled along the sidewalk's edge with my pink Barbie suitcase in hand with zero intention of turning back and going home. I turned around, took a good look at my house, and stomped off till I reached the end of the street.
Which way do I go, Lord? What now?
This was the first, and only time, I ran away from home. Even with my four-year-old wild spirit, I felt like I was on uncharted waters. I felt lost. I felt afraid.
I ran back home.
But you see, not this time.
This time, I need to be brave. Keep me close to your heart, oh Lord.
Because, my friend, one season is finished and one is beginning and ever-so-quickly does twenty-two years feel like one. A vapor.
So far away from home. But never far from Him.
May your will be done, oh Lord.
Look what great things He has done!
I am sitting on my front porch, all alone, for the very last time. What a view set before me. Everything I could ever ask Him for. A perfectly painted sky with all shades of pink and blue, the fading sunlight lightly brushing the green, and my wandering thoughts covering my heart.
But why now, Lord?
I always am ready for the next adventure. In fact, slightly restless in almost every season God has me in. It's like He holds me there just a minute extra to show that He is still in control.
But not this time. It's different.
I am not restless. I am not ready. I am not settled in this season.
But God is.
Yes, He is prepared. He is ready. He will catch me.
I spent all day packing up my furniture. Packing up my heart. Packing up my memories. Packing up my life.
You see, it's His gentle hand that pulls me from my comfort zone. Each time farther and more permanent than the last. How beautiful is His heart for me?
Clothe me in your thoughts, Lord. Oh, how ravishing and alive you are in me!
I pray for you, my sweet friend, that He is shaping you as He is me. Cling to His sweet promise! For joy comes in the morning!
"Behold, I am making all things new."
And just like that, I will look at my home one last time, filled with blood, sweat and tears, and walk forward in confidence.
Let thy will be done, oh Lord.